Friday, March 09, 2007
i'm tortured
I'm working on a painting for my friend Kelly, and it's really torturing me right now. I'm in that panicked state of creating where I think it's never going to look good. And i'm pretty seriously concerned that I may end up completely re-painting this before it's over. I'm already into a LOT of paint. I mean a LOT. I originally intended for it to be all wonky and abstract, but I'm not sure if I'm even capable of that at this time. After spending the last 7 months workin mostly on a computer system and not designing, I'm in a pretty left-brained state of mind. I might be more tempted to paint over the whole thing, but it's freakin' huge. 48" by 36". I think all that space is giving me a complex--really playing well to my anal tendencies.
I'm using some shimmery paint, which I absolutely love. Probably not very professional painter of me, but hey! Who gives a crap? Not me. I'm tired and ready to sleep on it. Isn't it great how you can hate something at 11:30 at night, and wake up to a miracle in the morning? I love that about a new day--things never seem so bad. How awesome is it that we get a fresh start every day? Well, mostly. I wish I would wake up with a Julia Roberts type body tomorrow morning.
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I just wanted to say that I love the painting for your friend. I really do. It's so colorful and flows so well, I love its lines. I know what stage you mean where you think it's never going to look good and you think about scrapping it. Just finish it and see how you feel... there have been several paintings I've done before where I wanted to cry halfway through because I didn't think it was going to pan out properly, but I made myself finish it and was happily surprised at the end and glad I didn't start over.
If I were your friend, Kelly, I would love the painting. I already love it now! I think it's a fantastic piece of art, and I hope your fresh start helped you to see that and be proud of it, too! :)